The New Yorker

 

McSweeney's

  • Existential Out of Office Replies

    • “Thank you for your email. I am out of the office with limited internet. Please expect a delayed response or the deafening silence of our indifferent universe.”

 

Funny Or Die

 

CollegeHumor

 

The Bold Italic

  • Welcome to Brain: The Ultimate Escape Room

    • "Unlike traditional escape rooms, Brain will force you to confront the darkest challenges inside your mind, like whether you should text your ex or listen to Adele’s breathtaking 25 album for the 78th time while shedding tears onto your dying succulent."

  • The Morning Routines of San Francisco's Ultra-Average

    • "It doesn’t matter if you begin each day with yoga, SoulCycle or doing yoga while SoulCycling — having a morning routine can help you crush the day and also some pistachios if you’re into that sort of thing."

 

Points In Case

  • Writers With Benefits

    • "This contract hereinafter outlines the benefits that may be exchanged between two writers experiencing a literary dry spell or who are desperate for feedback on their TV pilots. Either party may terminate this agreement without notice, just like most adult friendships."

  • How to Befriend An Introvert: An F.A.Q.

    • "Thinking about befriending an introvert? Congratulations! This can be an exciting moment in your life, as well as for the introvert if you don’t bring a large group."

 

Weekly Humorist

  • Yelp Reviews of The Last Supper

    • “I came here with a big group and we were immediately seated. Our meal started off with bread and wine, but not nothing too special. Not sure why our table had chairs only on one side?”

 

Robot Butt

  • The Rules of Major League Brunch

    • "A proper pregame warm-up consists of catching up with your team on how 'it’s been way too long since everyone had to wait this long for brunch.'"

 

The Higgs Weldon

 

Slackjaw

 

The Cooper Review

 

The Six Fifty

 

Milkshake Brigade